Parental Pressure in Childhood Sports: My Personal Experience

While reading through Chapter 14 of the textbook, I got to the section regarding parental pressure on childhood sports and I was reminded of my childhood as well as some current TV reality shows today.

In today's culture it seems rare to find children who are not involved in athletics. Why wouldn't parents want to get their child involved in fun, physical activity with teammates to learn some basic social skills? It is those parents who take these initial desires for their children a step too far where the tables turn and the activities become more of an occupation. Peer pressure is one thing, parent pressure is another thing. Children are being entered into athletic programs at earlier and earlier ages. I have seen and experienced this sort of involvement through club gymnastics growing up.

I began gymnastics when I was 6 in a recreational program near my house at a community center and fully enjoyed it. After a couple years in this low-intensity program my mom decided to bring me to Hamline to join their recreational classes leveled beginner, intermediate, and advanced. Upon quickly moving through each level I was soon asked to join the Spirit Gymnastics club team that also was at Hamline. I remember this being my decision and I don't regret saying yes to it. During my 6 years of club training I gained an incredibly fit body, friendships, and lessons of discipline and time management. My coach Doug Burns had told my mom that it would be a long and intense journey but that in the end I would walk away with life skills that no other sport or conditioning training could leave me with. There were many times that I wanted to quit but was quickly reminded of "all the work you've put in this far," or "think of all the money we've spent for you to just give up," so I pushed through the insane schedule, stress of competitions, and strength conditioning until I had reached my limit. As I got older and into middle school and high school club gymnastics became more and more of a chore for me rather than an enjoyable hobby. This switch in attitude towards the sport is what drove me to quit and also what separated me from most other of my team mates. I quit club with my parents support at age 16. Almost all my fellow teammates remained on the Spirit gymnastics team until college even after expressing to me their desire to quit. I feel I had the perfect middle ground of club sports involvement. For I walked away with positive skills that some may never acquire and I do not look back on those days of training/competitions with negative connotations towards my coaches and or the intensity of the sport itself. It is that line that many parents cross with their children. When children are pushed to the point of exhaustion and fatigue, it is their responsibility to respect that for it is the child's future.

On page 477 of the textbook, Newman explains that, "[parents] defend their actions by citing studies that show that adolescents involved in sports are less likely to use drugs and are more likely to get good grades in school." From personal experience I find this to be true, however, there is another crucial part to the story that seems to be missing: Whether or not the sport is enjoyable for the child. This aspect of children's involvement in sports seems to be overlooked quite often. I feel it is equally important for children to gain both the skills/discipline from sports as it is to gain the friendships/joy.

At a gym in which I would train at during the summers called Twin City Twisters (TCT) I noticed a lot of young girls (6-8) being trained at the level of intensity that I was training at when I was ages 14-16. The feel and energy in that gym is different. There is a sense of seriousness and determination not only in the gymnasts but also even more so in the parents. TCT has "produced" some elite level gymnasts, both male and female. Upon registering young gymnasts in such an intense program the parents wouldn't have any other goal in mind than just that. The tears and quite often unhappy faces that I noticed during their 4 hour saturday morning trainings reminded me of the hit reality TV show "Dance Moms." The TV show is now in its second season and yes, the dancers are quite amazing, however the drama and strictness of the mothers is what gives this show poor ratings in my book. The dance coach at Abby Lee Dance Academy stands for nothing less than perfect. This pressure, although it may be temporarily blinded by the makeup and gorgeous outfits, will soon in turn, put these young girls over the edge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRGpeui4-hU

The link above gives you a snippet of the intense and dramatic TV series "Dance Moms"

What can be done, if anything, to help relieve families who may be tied up in such demanding schedules? According to Newman, there are organizations that work to help families cut out time in their days for relaxation and or quality family time. With the rising popularity of these organizations, one can only hope that this is the help needed to neutralize such extreme demands of athletics and the pressure they experience from their parents.

Current Events: Gay Marriage

This past week there was a lot of news and debate regarding same sex marriages. As many were waiting to hear the outcome stance of state North Carolina on gay marriage, there was soon disappointment within the gay population upon hearing voter banned gay sex unions. Not much time was spent being disappointed however, for Obama, in the midst of the debate, declared his support for same sex marriages. The ups and downs of such a controversial topic must be nothing short of stressful as well as hurtful while those who desire nothing more than to spend the rest of their lives with their soulmate of the same gender wait for such a situation to be legalized.

This left me wondering, with the overwhelming number of voters who ban gay sex marriage in North Carolina, will Obama most likely lose their vote/approval? I'm sure Obama put thought into this especially due to the timing of both events which leads me to think that his opinion on same sex marriages was exposed at a critical time in the history of the gay marriage controversy. I have noticed within my group of friends and people who I know in the community in which I live that gay marriage seems to be gaining approval in especially younger generations.

Although we may not know the long term effects of such a declaration by our president, the topic of gay marriage and gay rights seems to be stirred back up in the media and even in celebrities. As I was listening to the radio this morning, many famous people spoke out about the news. Ellen DeGeneres stated, "Thank you president Barack Obama for your beautiful and brave words. I'm overwhelmed." Also, reality TV star Kim Kardashian blogged, "This is a HUGE step forward." Based off the influence that the media as well as celebrities/American "idols" have on the public and their opinions today... it is hard to determine where this monumental step in the history of gay rights will lead America.

Chapter 13 of the textbook focuses on immigration. When asked to tell my immigration story I was dumbfounded for I realized I know little to nothing about my immigrant ancestors and history! This is when I grabbed my phone to gather any known information from my grandma on my mother's side of the family. After talking with my grandma on the phone the other day, she revealed all that she could remember about our family’s immigration story. Although her thoughts were somewhat scrambled and faded, this is what I obtained from our conversation:


My great great grandpa and other relatives of that time on my mother’s side of the family were from France, England, and Ireland. The majority of them lived in Ireland. Eventually, they traveled to Minnesota where they did not live for long. From Minnesota they moved South to St. Louis, Missouri where then owned much land and were in the boating business. This is where my family resided for years, hence, my mom was born in St. Louis. 

Immigration years ago was much different than immigration in the US today however immigrants were after the same thing: The opportunities our country offers. As mentioned in the textbook, most immigration in the 1900's occurred by boat. I can only imagine the troubles and hardships families must have faced when traveling by boat across oceans for long periods of time. However, they remained persistent, for our country remains a melting pot made up of nearly all immigrants. 

If my ancestors were immigrating today, the process would be costly, lengthly, and difficult to achieve. Although means of transportation have improved and would lessen the travel time, there are many obstacles one must overcome. To enter the US, one must be eligible for an immigration visa. Upon receiving a visa, the waiting process can be as "little" as 3.5 years to up to 9 years. To be eligible for permanent residency in the US, one needs not only their legal visa, but also a green card. To acquire a green card, The US Citizenship and Immigration Services must approve an immigration petition. Following this is normally a wait to receive an immigrant visa number. It is obvious that this process is nothing short of a headache.

Immigration has become somewhat of a sensitive and controversial topic in the US today mainly because of illegal immigration. According to the International Organization for Migration (IOM), it is estimated that 25.5 to 32.1 million people (10%–15%) of the world's total 214 million international immigrants are illegal immigrants. This is an outstanding number of illegal immigrants. This number remains so high for people of developing countries desire nothing more to become a part of a developed country. It is easy to see why such a topic may be controversial. One side of the controversy is from the US citizen point of view where one may be unemployed while there are illegal immigrants taking positions in the work force of the country in which they do not legally reside. There is no doubt about the fact that this is an obtrusive issue when it comes to illegal immigration. On the other hand, it is nothing short of heartbreaking knowing that simple boundaries of God given land separate lives of those who may be impoverished, illiterate, and starving from those who luckily were born onto the US territory and therefore are born with a greater magnitude of opportunities. The issue of illegal immigration is difficult for me to take a firm stance on, for without being in the shoes of the immigrant wishing for a better life, I am not able to fully grasp the hardships in which they face. 

Immigration in general is to be encouraged. For the incorporation of those from surrounding countries will do nothing more than enrich our American culture and aid in further growth and diversification of our melting pot. 

Additional Thoughts on Impressions

Since I have been enrolled in my first sociology course this semester I have become more aware of social situations and tend to take a second to naturally somewhat analyze what's going on. Most of my observations are of others and how their actions have related to topics we've covered, however, the other day I noticed behavior in myself regarding impression management. My previous blog post on the topic of Impression Management I had brought to attention the fact that I work as a nanny and this is where I've noticed I use first impression "tactics." Well, my jobs are currently very stable with the consistent four families that I nanny for. Until the other day I had a new job opportunity to nanny three kids for the first time. Being available, of course I took the mom up on the offer. Came time to head to their house, I noticed myself searching through my closet for something to change into even though I was dressed perfectly fine. This is when I stopped to think about what and why it was that I even cared to change? Of course what was happening was a trigger going off in my mind saying I needed to come off more "mom" like to look the roll of the care taker that I am. The only things I would definitely stray away from wearing to a job such as this would be clothing with any inappropriate phrases/words, or anything revealing/risk-ay. Since my clothing was not within either of those categories I decided to stick with what I had on for it was a subtle statement of who I am. I made a mental note to act very me since I have a newer confidence in my nannying career. And I did just that. Upon meeting the parents I kept my voice at in its normal key, for I had observed previously I tend to go into a higher, sweet sounding pitch. The introductions and evening with the three kids went well and smooth. I felt good sticking to my new idea of showing who I really am instead of who they may expect to see. The experience feels more personal and trustworthy when real character is revealed. There is no space for pretending to be someone I am not when it comes to caring for others children. I can only hope that when the day comes for me to hire my first nanny that I will feel and see the honesty and sincerity in them and with that, feel comfortable with my kids being left in his or her hands.

 
I woke up the following morning to a text from the mother reading, "Hey Grace! Kids had a blast last night-Thanks again for your care. We look forward to another night out in order for the kids to enjoy another fun filled evening with you." This was nothing short of fulfilling to read. A great start to my day and rest of impression management techniques (or lack their of) to come.

The Portrayal of Women in The Media

Not a day goes by where I do not notice the way women are portrayed in the media... whether or not that's a good thing depends on the day. Some days I feel completely inspired by the women I see on TV, magazines, billboards, for they may exist as a strong female figure such as Oprah, Michelle Obama, Jennifer Lopez. However, this is not my most common emotion associated with women's portrayal in the media today. More often than not, upon viewing ads, magazines, commercials, I begin to think twice about the way I look or the way I dress. It is as if these women exist as unattainable goals for young girls, teens, and adults. It does nothing but create a desire within to become this sexy, perfect BEING. The portrayal of women is becoming less and less human and more of an idealized, eye candy, object for the public's enjoyment (and by public I mean men). 

This above picture is of the Victoria Secret Angels. Victoria Secret is well known for their bra and panties sales line. To refer to their most famous models as Angels speaks for itself. This suggests that their, so-to-speak, beauty has gotten them to an unearthly realm, as if they exist as divine objects of heaven. The fact that these women are, in a sense, praised for their beauty implies that this body image is one to work toward achieving if one desires similar praise or approval of the male gender. This leads to a magnitude of problems. First off, is there any places on the angel's bodies where a bit of fat or excess skin may be pinched? Women of all ages go to extreme measures to become this idealized female figure, including measures that put ones health at risk: Anorexia, bulimia, and depression mention a few. Secondly, women portrayed in such a way creates the notion that they are objects for pleasure which is degrading for the female gender. More often than not, the positions in which the models pose are sensual, tempting, and inviting. This objectification (practice of treating people as objects) of women leads to a separate division of issues relating to pornography, abuse, prostitution, etc. Lastly, upon receiving spring and summer additions of their swim suit catalogues, buyers have an unrealistic perception of how the clothing will appear on their body. It is a situation that sets itself up for failure. To think that the swim suit one purchases will make one appear sexy and angelic just as the models do leads to disappointment. Although this may be a successful marketing technique, it eats away at the self esteem of women across the country. 

Gender Inequality

Women's Rights-Bit of History
There is an immense amount of history regarding women's rights that has lead our country to where we are today in terms of gender equality. The word equality serves as our goal, since we have yet to reach gender equality in all aspects of our society. This is why there is importance in understanding the positions in which women are placed daily in institutions along with other prolonging issues: Domestic violence, rape, reproductive rights, etc. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 aimed to end discrimination based on religion, race, color, and national origin. It was the Civil Rights Act that sparked the women's right movement soon after. Through the years of many woman's hard work and determination, there was a lot of progress. Issues that were focused on included reproductive rights, sexual harassment, Title IX, the "glass ceiling," and many more.

Women in the Work Force
The "glass ceiling" was a phrase referring to the invisible barrier through which women can see higher positions in the work force but cannot reach or achieve it. There is no written law or guideline that institutions set out to follow such as, "No people of the minority (in this case women) being accepted into elite positions," for this would violate the equal employment opportunity laws. Thus, the inclusion of the word 'glass' implies that it exists without firm foundation or reason and that's why it cannot be an eye witnessed phenomenon. It exists as some undercover force in which the people of the majority of the institution remain in control. Take a moment to put yourself into the shoes of a woman in the work force... not able to gain acceptance in the most elite positions at your institution simply because you were born with the biological features that make you female? It is not difficult to imagine this experience to be degrading. Common emotions such as worthlessness or lack of importance were most likely present. As stated be Hillary Clinton, "Although we weren't able to shatter this highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, its got about 18 million cracks in it, and the light is shining through like never before."
Institutional sexism, as Newman defines it, is subordination of women that is part of everyday workings of economics, law, politics, and other social institutions. Since this form of sexism is so common (happening daily) it puts sexism on a larger scale. This draws clearer lines of inequality amongst the males and females in the work force today. Institutional sexism can often result in masculinized institutions. In a masculinized institution, stereotypical masculine characteristics are favored, such as being strong, aggressive, competitive, etc.
Overall, although our country has developed greatly throughout the years in hopes of gender equality, there is always room for improvement.

My Experiences with Racism

Race is defined as a category of people labeled and treated as similar because of allegedly common biological traits, such as skin color, shape of eyes, texture of hair, etc. The definition of race does not touch upon the notion of equality. Why should it? For one's biological traits are not to determine power, status, or rights. They are simply surface features in which the eye observes. Pull away the accessory outer appearance and reveal the uniform anatomy of the human body. I wish the rest of the world could take a second to do just that. It is our failure to do so that has created such a hurtful and prolonging issue in America: Racism. As explained by Newman, "Opportunities for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness have always been disturbed along racial and ethnic lines."

I am Caucasian and thus, exist within the majority race of America. I have not experienced much racism first hand, however, have been exposed to the serious and painful issue through my education and life at home. Growing up living in Minneapolis allowed me to familiarize myself with diversity. As goes for any race, those who vary in appearance from your immediate family can seem different, strange, or intriguing. It is those families that don't allow children to interact with the foreign seeming people where the issues begin. For parents, I find it key for them to break the 'barrier' promptly in order to let the child know that there is nothing that makes the two different other than appearance. The quicker one is able to interact with other races, the better the notion of equality may be spread and thus, happiness amongst us all. My parents had me at a Minneapolis public school grades K-5 with the exception of 3rd grade. Tuttle Elementary was a very diverse and artistically involved school that I loved dearly. In the class pictures from the years I attended, it would be difficult for one to state with confidence that I was part of any majority... for the division of races and ethnicities was so diverse. I was best friends with four girls: Carolene (French), Katarina (Caucasian), Jupreece (Mixed), and Nhung (Vietnamese). My very first crush was a boy named Jacub (Lebanese). My integration with this diverse group of kids opened my eyes at a young age to the heterogeneity of our country. Because my predetermined middle school and high school was in the city of St. Anthony, my parents decided to transfer me to the St. Anthony elementary school, Wilshire Park, for 3rd grade in hopes of increasing the likely hood of acceptance into the sister middle school. Wilshire worked in opposition to all that I had just gained from my experience at Tuttle. My new three best friends were Rachel, Jenny, and Erin... all of Caucasian descent. Wilshire, I am realizing now, displayed trends of racial transparency which is the tendency for the race of a society's majority to be so obvious, normative, and unremarkable that it becomes nearly invisible (Newman, 2012). No body within the tight-knit group of families seemed to have a problem with the lack of diversity at the elementary school, it is as if they had forgotten other races exist. The importance of a child's integration with those who are not always appearing so similar (with the exception of blonde or brunette hair), is one thing I had the advantage of. I didn't last but a year at Wilshire... The immense diversity at Tuttle was worth grasping an additional couple years of before a longer education at a unified race school.

Another aspect of my life in which I have experienced situations of racial inequality or diversification is through my relationship with my step father. My step father, Rob, is mixed (half Caucasian, half African American). Hearing his hardships growing up as a child is nothing short of disturbing and embarrassing for our country. Rob experienced the brutality of colorism: skin color prejudice within an ethnoracial group, often between light skinned and dark skinned blacks (Newman, 2012). It stuck with me when he explained once, "I was never white enough to be accepted by the whites, but never black enough to be accepted by the blacks." It is heart-wrenching to know that it is our own preconceptions and history of slavery that caused and still causes this pain amongst individuals today.

Growing up in a race-diverse school, and building relationships with those who have experienced the difficulty of racism first hand has opened my heart and ears to those who may be suffering. As the issue seems to weaken, it undeniably still exists.

Poverty Line Lifestyle

Scenario: Family of four (both working parents, 7 year old and a 3 year old), youngest child needs day care, living at minimum subsistence level (poverty line).

Monthly Expenses:
Food/Groceries-$350
Household goods-Dry goods such as toilet paper, napkins, toothpaste, pull-ups or diapers for the 3 year old: Averaging about $100.
Housing-Assume family is renting a 2 bedroom duplex = $1,000.
Health/Medical Care-$400
Transportation-Since this family is functions at a minimum subsistence level, they would choose public transportation via bus or light rail: $245
Entertainment-$30 for random treats, toys, or movie night.
Clothing-The family would be utilizing thrift stores to keep this expense low: $100
Daycare-$800
*This list does not include means of communication (i.e. cell phone, phone booth, etc.)

Total monthly cost of expenses: $3,025
Annual subsistence budget: $3,025 x 12 = $36,300
Government official poverty line: $22,113 
 *Difference of $14,187


Taking a step into the life of someone who may be experiencing such a life style of living at the poverty line really puts things into perspective for me. While going through each category of expenses, I did not feel that I was being over generous with any of the given monthly amounts; However I managed to be $14,187 over the government official poverty line. It must be very difficult, to say the least, to live a life with two kids in such a way. Now that I need to take a look back at where the money was spent, there is no obvious place that I can subtract hundreds of dollars here or there. Considering that the food monthly expenses are fairly high, if I were in the position similar to this family, I would look into food shelves or cutting down on varieties of food and stick to the basics such as bread, butter, milk, cheese, etc. and work on being creative with the slim variety in the cupboards. For the household goods, the family could utilize natural diapers (cloth and clothespin) since Pampers or other diaper brands may become expensive. Entertainment would need to be taken out completely and the family must use parks and zoos as forms of entertainment. Clothing expenses can be lowered and spent only every couple months instead of monthly. In terms of transportation, one or both parents may choose to jog or walk to work rather than bus or light rail. These choices are unpleasant.

Being in a financial situation such as this would be uncomfortable for both the parents and the kids. One must live with such awareness and little to no freedom in their expenses. This must cause a lot of stress and hardship. I'm sure it is not simple for a parent to have to explain to their children why they can't have this treat or that toy or go to a movie they want to see. There is immediate discomfort carried along with those thoughts, both for the children and the parents. It makes me realize all the things in my life that I take for granted: Food, housing, and medical care to be of the biggest. I live at home, virtually for free. I do not pay a monthly living fee, nor am I asked to contribute financially. My mom does the grocery shopping for 7 people living in my house. The expense is not little, however, affordable for her income and budget. I eat when I'm hungry but also when I'm bored or "snacky." After traveling to a poverty stricken country, Nicaragua, and putting myself in scenarios of living at the poverty line, it makes me realize all the days gifts I receive which may be as simple as a sandwich. We order pizzas often, go to movies when we are bored, take vacations every spring, shop at the mall on weekends, get pops and candy out of vending machines... all these things are often overlooked as blessings. Makes me need to take a second to release myself of my bound up tied with a bow life, and take one humble step backwards to think of those families who may never experience my comfortable living condition.

The last thing that a parent in this situation would want is for these harsh living conditions to carry into their children's lives as move out as individuals in the world. Although this is of course not the desires of the parents, the life style in which the children grow up may effect their availability to resources about education (college) or potential career paths/opportunities. I often forget about how lucky I am to have computers and laptops available at my leisure. Some families don't have the opportunity to surf the web and research in hopes of aiding their children's future education. Though I do think that families living at the poverty line can very well avoid such an issue by being active in their community, reading newspapers, staying involved with elementary teachers at the 7 year old's school, etc. The children may be emotionally and of physically effected by living at minimal subsistence level. I bet it is not easy for kids to hear stories from friends about Disney land, or seeing new dolls and action figures. Maybe they must go through a night hungry and wishing they could have a hot meal but the parents budget that month had run out. Nonetheless, after putting myself in the position of living at the poverty line, I get the impression that it is tiresome, sad, and unpleasant for all family members experiencing the hardship.

"Measuring" Academic Ability

The social structure of our education system is, as the book describes it, "a reality that determines life chances and choices." This plays out to be completely true in my experience as a student as well as lives of my closest friends and classmates.

Ever since my days in middle school at St. Anthony, I was becoming familiar with what it meant to, "Start preparing for the ACT." This sentence seemed to repeat in my mind but I never quite understood why it needed to be so, say, engraved in me... until I reached high school. It was in high school that that phrase suddenly turned into anxiety provoking- An immediate stressor.

High school in general is a critical time in an individual's life. For me, there seemed to be a sudden shift in priority. This time was no longer about expanding my group of friends, placing 1st or 2nd at my varsity gymnastics meets, shopping for prom dresses, searching for dates, but rather looking ahead to what I want to be for the rest of my life. My future. In the midst of discovering and becoming who you are, you are pulled from what comes naturally and forced to fit into a desired academic standard. The idea of homework, projects, papers that were assigned became merely impossible to accomplish because you knew teachers are grading harder than ever with a standard in mind. The task itself became scary. Almost as if you want to turn away and not try at all... anything to avoid the sight of a not passing grade on an assignment. Why was this so dreadful? The grades in high school are what make up your GPA whose partner in crime is the ACT and this dreadful duo determines your acceptance into colleges in which your career then crashes or fails! Every piece to the puzzle needed to be completed at your highest academic ability. But how is it that education systems across the country can sufficiently demonstrate each students academic ability? The point is-They can't.

Standardized tests are a quick and easy way of gaging where schools and students are at academically. However, the time restraint and strict environment in which one must perform this test is not in the slightest natural or calming and thus, not a great representation of one's academic ability. From my personal experience, the amount of anxiety and stress that this test caused me in the preparation stage was insane. After 3:00 AM the night before I was scheduled to take the exam, I had to take one of my mom's sleeping pills to literally knock me out and ensure at least four hours of sleep that night. Needless to say, the stress and anxiety dragged along with the standardized testing directly effected my test taking ability the next morning, for I was exhausted and by no means mentally at reset. Once I arrived in the unfamiliar classroom with unfamiliar faces, desks, clocks, papers, voices, there was never a point reached where I felt calm or at ease. The intensity of these teachers watching over you like hawks and working against the clock sets nearly everyone up for a worse performance on such an exam.

There are so many variables that are not taken into account when one is given a standardized exam. First of all, what type of intelligence is one measuring? When would street smarts or common sense come into play within the substance of the exam? Because I definitely think those characteristics are important aspects of an intelligent human being as well as features that colleges would find important upon accepting students into their academy. However, those aspects are not in the slightest accounted for. They are shadowed and looked over. Ones ability to maintain composure under stressful conditions seems to be the most accurate measurement of standardized tests.

Furthermore, it is obvious that the structure of education in the contemporary US has shaped me into the student that I am. The ways in which aspects of an individual's intelligence is evaluated could use some improvement to say the least. I hope that the future holds a better solution, one which is less stressful and demanding, in assessing the academic success of students upon acceptance into colleges. It is sad to think that because of the requirements and standards of these tests, some of the brightest individuals may be overlooked.

Deviance & Labeling Theory: Homosexuality

Deviance, as our book defines it, is the behavior, ideas, or attributes of an individual or group that some people in society find offensive. Right off the bat, without knowing much about the technical details of the term deviance or its background, a red flag appears when I read, "some people in society find offensive." That section of the definition indicates to me that there must be a separation in the beliefs or desires within the society causing the conflict. This is exactly true. In further research, other definitions of deviance describe it as actions or behaviors that violate social norms. After assuring this, it only seems right that these deviant acts or behaviors are those that exist outside of the guidelines society has made for social norms. It may not be those who are deviant are bad people, they just happen to stray or take the road less traveled. Sure, that's fine if people say, "Deviance is a failure to conform to culturally reinforced norms," but may I follow up with what's so wrong about that? Is it really worth creating a label or name for people who obtain such features? We, as a society, view that as deviant because it apparently comes off as offensive when people chose not to follow the predetermined pathway of behaviors or attributes. This, to me, is intriguing. It seems that this society tries to take a great deal of pride in what we claim to be correct or acceptable. It makes me wonder if society, and the designated norms that exist within society, is the core force behind what drives one to act deviant? Perhaps one feels the loss of individuality when constantly trying to fit into the cookie cutter shape society lays out for us all. Because-really... who gives society or the majority the right to declare one as normal? Normal is not a universalized term. Since what is considered normal is not consistent across countries, and within countries is constantly under construction being changed and altered... What's deviant one day may be next year's normal. Which is why the picture of this guy says it all, "The New Normal."

All these thoughts about names, defining, and titling of people is well described as the Labeling Theory. As defined in our textbook, the Labeling Theory states that deviance is the consequence of the application of rules and sanctions to an offender; a deviant is an individual to whom the identity "deviant" has been successfully applied. It's clear now that all my initial thoughts were making up the key aspect of the Labeling Theory. Now that is laid out in plain terms, I tried to think of more specific social situations in which this theory applies. The first situation I contemplated was homosexuality. Although I cannot speak from the direct perspective, however, ever since I was exposed to the term "homosexual" in middle school, I was soon exposed and observant to the stereotypes, harsh remarks, and intentional labeling that was incorporated with an individual's particular sexuality. Along with the labels as gay, faggot, homo, or whatever it may be... comes many negative connotations as well.

I find it unfair to categorize people based on who they are sexually attracted to.  Since a heterosexual individual is commonly viewed as one who exists within the norm of society, this places all who differ in sexual behavior in separate territory where they shall accept the label as deviant. By no means should this be a standard of whether one is deviant or not. Think of it this way-Lesbian or straight women do not represent two distinct populations of women, WE have created this classification/distinction. On a more positive note, I feel the US states where gay marriage is legal is an excellent way for our society to move in the direction of complete integration and acceptance of all those who have are involved sexually with a partner, no matter the gender. 

Family

What family means to me continues to evolve as my life progresses. Of course, when I was younger, I knew family as those who I live with who share the same blood as me. But as I have grown and experienced relationships with people and felt love in multiple directions, I have realized that family is more a connection of those who truly love each other. Although the blood may not be consistent throughout these members, why does that have to be the deciding factor in who you label as a family member? Family has become a means of having each others backs, being able to be yourself, trusting, and enjoying being in the presence of each individual who shines these characteristics. I feel this "definition" came to me because there are some of my blood relatives who have failed to show love, kindness, and compassion and as a result I find myself losing respect. My life has transformed in a way that does not follow the cookie cutter US family. Divorces happen, gay relationships are real and to be respected as well as accepted, and multiracial marriages cannot and should not be restricted. Relationships involving love and family should in no way be interrupted by law or norms. The picture below shows some of my family! Five of the people are of blood relation, the other four are people who continuously show all the characteristics of what, for me, constitutes a family member.

There are, of course, some issues that are considered "sticky" when it comes to families. In particular, one topic I cannot directly speak from my heart about, but know a couple who have experienced some life long difficulties: a gay couple struggling to gain acceptance by one of the partner's family who lives in India. The story and heartbreak that it brings this couple makes me wish there was a world who understood that love is love. Partners of almost 15 years still remain in silence of their love for each other in fear of being rejected by fellow family members. No matter what sex, race, age... If the feeling is there, why can anyone make a judgement call or place an opinion on such a personal and intimate topic? It is a complex and dispiriting topic.

Impressions

Impression management, though I am new this terminology, has always been an intriguing aspect of human behavior that I often tune into. Observing the way that someone changes in the presence of a particular person or situation often makes me wonder if the people I am in everyday contact with are putting on, so to speak, a display to appear a certain way for my approval. I feel that there are certain situations in which impression management is necessary, such as, a job interview or meeting a boyfriend or girlfriend's parents. These situations in particular one would want to eliminate poor behavior not to necessarily gain approval moreover to display their best qualities.


Personally, I think there is a difference in those who use impression management to gain approval of a group of friends or at a party. This seems to be changing or conforming to ones standards in order to fit in. When someone is acting on their best behavior to please another (job interview example) they are still true to themselves, just shining their most favorable traits. Whereas, when someone is meeting a group of people trying to fit in, their impression management may not be true to themselves but rather an act of conformity to blend to the characteristics of that particular group. This type of impression management is what I enjoy being a witness of. I feel it does nothing gain temporary approval that is set up for future failure. If someone is putting on a show to gain approval, they are not giving a taste of their true self, as time goes by, unless they continue the display for continuous validation, their inner self must come through and then what happens? Maybe this never comes full circle, but does that mean that conformity had played such a huge role that ones personality had been molded to what the group originally desired from him or her? It's an interesting cycle and I think about it often. I have had many falling outs with past friends and sometimes I feel I can attribute this to impression management. I believed they were someone that they did not turn out to be. Impression management impairs one ability to read true character... At least this has proved to be true to my life experiences.

There are not only times in which I have observed people using impression management but there are also many times that I recognize these behaviors in myself. One situation that I can think of in particular is my job. I nanny for multiple families around the neighborhood in which I live. It is always an exciting moment when I get a call from a new parent interested in me caring for their child/children. More often than not, the family wishes I meet the children and get a tour of the house prior to the nannying times they need. In the first couple years of this routine, I would be nervous at this point! I thought a lot about what I want to wear, how I want to appear physically. I didn't want to wear jeans with holes in them or low cut shirts... I suppose, thinking back on it, I tried to create an image of a mom or stereotypical neighbor-girl babysitter. As a few years have passed and I still work as a nanny, I suppose I have gained some confidence in my position and no longer feel the need to express myself any differently than I am naturally... my real self. I before felt as if I had to work to fit the role in all aspects of a nanny, now I am that role with no strain or effort.

Nature vs. Nurture

I have taken two psychology courses that have briefly touched upon the Nature vs. Nurture debate, and each time I have learned some about the topic I have been left with questions and, I guess you could say, food for thought. I am glad that it has again came up in this course so I can thoroughly understand the logistics of this debate that has been controversial for centuries. I find it fascinating to study the theories of human development, for we are such complex beings.

When speaking in terms of nature and nurture, nature refers to the idea that we are who we are based off our genetics. Nurture, on the opposing end, refers to the idea that we are who we are because of the way to grow up and our environmental factors. 

By adopting the idea that we are who we are based off genetics, we are, as the book describes it, "the predetermined product of our genes and biochemistry." Personally, I have a difficult time digesting the notion that we are destine to mature and evolve into exactly what our genes and DNA codes for. It is, however, undeniable that genetics has an immense influence on who we are. It commonly known that parents pass on traits such as hair type, eye color, height, etc. to their offspring. The Nature argument includes these known facts but takes a step further in declaring that our genetics determine other traits such as personality and intelligence. There is no way to prove this to be exactly true, however, scientists have studied behavior in fraternal and identical twins raised together and also raised separately. Seeing similarities in their behaviors when raised separately implies that despite their differences in their environments in which they grew up, they still have similar qualities that must be attributed to their genes. This serves as an interesting study, however, I have had the experience of getting to know identical twins who displayed differences in interests, behaviors, and personality. These two girls were a year older than me, I was never super close with either of them but had the opportunity to get to know them both, separately, in different situations. One of the twins I was in an art class with. I enjoyed her presence in the class, her soft laugh and thoughtful input on my artworks. Her sister, on the other hand, I had gotten to know because our nightlife would often line-up. She acted completely different, loud laugh and striving to be the center of attention. It was always so intriguing to me, as a bystander, to analyze their behaviors and wonder how they became so different. Their case, in particular, proves to me that their environment and external factors have molded them into the people that they are today; separate dreams, personalities, habits, and interests.


In contrast, if Nurture exists as the theory of human development this implies, as the book explains, that we are born and "created from scratch by the people and the social institutions that surround us." Although this statement may strike some as extreme, there are many instances in which it is easy to declare that environment plays a crucial role in our development. For instance, I have experienced the impact of ones physical environment (location, demographics, and schooling) on their personality and daily behaviors.

 I have lived in Minneapolis since I was 2. My two girl cousins (one my age, other two years younger) grew up in Plymouth (a suburb of Minnesota) their whole lives. Growing up in Minneapolis I was exposed to city life, diversity, crime, art, etc. There were countless nights when I would have my cousins attempt a sleepover at my home in Minneapolis where their fear of the city would get the best of them. Their environment in which they grew up had and still has an impact on their behaviors even now as grown adults. There is no doubt about the fact that the nurture of a child plays a key role in the development of their personality and other aspects that define who they are. A child who is sheltered and does not become exposed to the world for what it is, rather, a select section of it in which ones parents determine-will grow up to have varying traits in personality than a child who is encouraged to experience the world in all aspects, regardless if situations are scary or dangerous.

The fact that each side of the argument (Nature or Nurture) has its faults, or exceptions to the rules, makes it clear to me that there must be a medium. Human life and development, as I stated before, is so complex... it only seems makes sense that there are factors of both nature and nurture that contribute to our growth and maturation.

This is my understanding of this continuous debate thus far in my studying and contemplation, feel free to add your opinion or thoughts!

Role of Culture and Norms in Society

My sister, Claire (right), and I are close. Not a week goes by where one of us isn't in need of a good listener--someone to vent to. We are similar but very different at the same time which allows us to agree on things as well as give alternative perspectives on the topic at hand. When I read this assignment I knew that putting her in a situation deviating from our norm as well as the society norm of being face to face (within, say, a 3 foot distance) with someone when you're in a deep conversation would, in the least, confuse her. She was a good candidate in the sense that I could feel comfortable "acting" or doing this activity without me displaying that I am aware of the abnormal activity. Observing one's response to an offbeat behavior is a great way to analyze the effects of declared norms in society and everyday life.

I walked to Claire's bedroom at a time that I knew she would be available for chatting. However, instead of walking in and joining her sitting on her bed, I stood in the doorway. I asked if I could talk to her regarding one of my friend situations. Her, confused why I even asked in the first place and why I hadn't fulling entered her room said, "Yeah, come sit." I quickly disregarded her offer and jumped right into what I had to say. I felt awkward but stuck to my plan and made sure I didn't give away my act. I did not raise my voice to assist her in hearing my story, I spoke as if we were face to face. Being so, she waved me over while I was talking and I again ignored her and acted normal. This behavior made me feel uneasy because there was a tense feeling in the room, it would be only a matter of minutes until she acted upon my behavior and changed hers to fix mine. She stood up and walked near me and leaned against the wall so we were, finally, face to face. She had normalized the situation. Once this happened I let out a sigh and said, "Ok, I didn't come sit on your bed for a reason, I was just observing your response to my abnormal behavior." When I asked her how she felt when I was standing at such a distance from her in attempt to have an in depth conversation she explained it as, "Just weird." She had a difficult time answering my question of why that was weird for her. Claire's best reasoning for why was because, "Well, normally if someone wants to have a deep convo about something they chose to sit close, in more an intimate setting... not stand in the fricken doorway." And she laughed. This explained it all, of course she would mention the word normal in her explanation of how I was failing to act.

Social norms are unwritten rules about how we behave. It is as if everyone is following a particular standard and to deviate from this is perceived as a bizarre. Given a situation or circumstance, one can almost always predict how the average person will react to an event based off the norm. There is a level of conformity that plays a big role in the development of norms. I see this very often at my age; working to fit in at parties, dress a particular way, have a certain response to an ear full of gossip. Norms are like a common thread amongst us all, but what are they doing... what purpose do they serve? I feel norms shape and form us into who we aren't, rather, who society wants us to be. Norms play such a huge role in our everyday lives that it is difficult, if not impossible, to imagine what our country would be like without these guidelines. Who knows? Maybe there would be a lot more diversity, creativity, and ideas flowing. It is intriguing and complex to think about. Since norms have such an influence on how and what we do, I have more respect for those who are able to step out against the norm and demonstrate their individuality.



 Culture, on the other hand, I feel plays a role in our lives in a more saturated and meaningful way. In my opinion, culture serves as a foundation of values and morals that connect our country. It is the intertwined understanding and knowledge behind who we are as a nation and how we have become this way. It is the common ground that we have built in which we all can recognize and respect.

Personal Billboard

Many people utilize personal billboards in a way that is obvious and clear-making sure that the "audience," or public, is correctly receiving the message. This message varies from a wide variety of things such as, a stance on a particular subject or issue, a sports team that one adores, hometown pride, or simply just a reflection of a personality/taste in clothing. Regardless the message, personal billboards are used and observed everyday. Personal billboards are an effective and quick way of expressing many aspects of who you are. Personally, I enjoy being able to figure a little something out about a person by simply examining their choices of clothing, pins, bumper stickers, etc. It's a way for me to get to know them, not on a deep level, but enough to get the gist for their values and passions. Although I am a fan of playing the "audience," so to speak, I do not express myself, my values, or passions quite in this way. 

I feel I give away glimpses of who I am by little things such as, (during spring and summer months) wearing flowers in my hair as a sign of my love for nature and the outdoors, or wearing brightly colored shirts and nail polish as a symbol of happiness and joy. 

In addition to my little outward garments that may or may not send obvious implications about me as a person, I do display two permanent messages on my back and my foot: my tattoos. Both my tattoos are visible and available to the public to read and this may serve as their foothold into who I am as an individual. 

My Plate

Sociological Imagination: The Drive To My Future

The Sociological Imagination, by some, is described as the ability to shift from one perspective to another.  When looking into this blog post assignment in particular, this definition, or, understanding of the phase, hit home for me. Thinking back to the days I spent as a 12 year old there were no immediate red flags or major events that I could name off the top of my head. This was the year of 2005; economic growth had unexpectedly weakened, 838 US soldiers had been killed in Iraq, Hurricane Katrina had deprived our country of 1,836 friends, family members, and lovers. My first reaction to reviewing these times and trying to feel what I had felt as a 12 year old trying to digest such complex and 'over-my-head' topics. It must not have felt relevant or worthy of considerable concern at that time. Now that I'm 19 and have lived 7 years of life experiences to see how such major events could have played out in my life, it seems that 2005 has, surprisingly, had an amazing impact on my accomplishments, personality, and goals.

Hurricane Katrina, along with some other catastrophic events around the world has created a burning inside of me to serve others. Seeing the hurt and immense amount of sadness among so many people, normal people, it kills me and drives me to do what I can to create a positive spin on as many individuals as possible.

 


Though I believe serving others is my calling and always has been something deep inside me, it wasn't until the past couple years that I truly took matters into my own hands in terms of making something happen. This past summer I was blessed with the opportunity to serve orphans in Nicaragua where they are suffering from poverty and an oppressive government. This experience alone was nothing short of life changing, eye opening, and inspiration to continue serving.



In terms of the effects of such events on my life for my future, I have the goal of becoming a doctor in hopes of helping those in need. Ideally I would love to travel to countries that may be dealing with outstanding circumstances and not have much medical access. Thinking back on my childhood, keeping in mind the sociological imagination, I was able to pull out aspects of year 2005 that stand out as some of the most influential events to my life now.