Parental Pressure in Childhood Sports: My Personal Experience

While reading through Chapter 14 of the textbook, I got to the section regarding parental pressure on childhood sports and I was reminded of my childhood as well as some current TV reality shows today.

In today's culture it seems rare to find children who are not involved in athletics. Why wouldn't parents want to get their child involved in fun, physical activity with teammates to learn some basic social skills? It is those parents who take these initial desires for their children a step too far where the tables turn and the activities become more of an occupation. Peer pressure is one thing, parent pressure is another thing. Children are being entered into athletic programs at earlier and earlier ages. I have seen and experienced this sort of involvement through club gymnastics growing up.

I began gymnastics when I was 6 in a recreational program near my house at a community center and fully enjoyed it. After a couple years in this low-intensity program my mom decided to bring me to Hamline to join their recreational classes leveled beginner, intermediate, and advanced. Upon quickly moving through each level I was soon asked to join the Spirit Gymnastics club team that also was at Hamline. I remember this being my decision and I don't regret saying yes to it. During my 6 years of club training I gained an incredibly fit body, friendships, and lessons of discipline and time management. My coach Doug Burns had told my mom that it would be a long and intense journey but that in the end I would walk away with life skills that no other sport or conditioning training could leave me with. There were many times that I wanted to quit but was quickly reminded of "all the work you've put in this far," or "think of all the money we've spent for you to just give up," so I pushed through the insane schedule, stress of competitions, and strength conditioning until I had reached my limit. As I got older and into middle school and high school club gymnastics became more and more of a chore for me rather than an enjoyable hobby. This switch in attitude towards the sport is what drove me to quit and also what separated me from most other of my team mates. I quit club with my parents support at age 16. Almost all my fellow teammates remained on the Spirit gymnastics team until college even after expressing to me their desire to quit. I feel I had the perfect middle ground of club sports involvement. For I walked away with positive skills that some may never acquire and I do not look back on those days of training/competitions with negative connotations towards my coaches and or the intensity of the sport itself. It is that line that many parents cross with their children. When children are pushed to the point of exhaustion and fatigue, it is their responsibility to respect that for it is the child's future.

On page 477 of the textbook, Newman explains that, "[parents] defend their actions by citing studies that show that adolescents involved in sports are less likely to use drugs and are more likely to get good grades in school." From personal experience I find this to be true, however, there is another crucial part to the story that seems to be missing: Whether or not the sport is enjoyable for the child. This aspect of children's involvement in sports seems to be overlooked quite often. I feel it is equally important for children to gain both the skills/discipline from sports as it is to gain the friendships/joy.

At a gym in which I would train at during the summers called Twin City Twisters (TCT) I noticed a lot of young girls (6-8) being trained at the level of intensity that I was training at when I was ages 14-16. The feel and energy in that gym is different. There is a sense of seriousness and determination not only in the gymnasts but also even more so in the parents. TCT has "produced" some elite level gymnasts, both male and female. Upon registering young gymnasts in such an intense program the parents wouldn't have any other goal in mind than just that. The tears and quite often unhappy faces that I noticed during their 4 hour saturday morning trainings reminded me of the hit reality TV show "Dance Moms." The TV show is now in its second season and yes, the dancers are quite amazing, however the drama and strictness of the mothers is what gives this show poor ratings in my book. The dance coach at Abby Lee Dance Academy stands for nothing less than perfect. This pressure, although it may be temporarily blinded by the makeup and gorgeous outfits, will soon in turn, put these young girls over the edge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRGpeui4-hU

The link above gives you a snippet of the intense and dramatic TV series "Dance Moms"

What can be done, if anything, to help relieve families who may be tied up in such demanding schedules? According to Newman, there are organizations that work to help families cut out time in their days for relaxation and or quality family time. With the rising popularity of these organizations, one can only hope that this is the help needed to neutralize such extreme demands of athletics and the pressure they experience from their parents.

Current Events: Gay Marriage

This past week there was a lot of news and debate regarding same sex marriages. As many were waiting to hear the outcome stance of state North Carolina on gay marriage, there was soon disappointment within the gay population upon hearing voter banned gay sex unions. Not much time was spent being disappointed however, for Obama, in the midst of the debate, declared his support for same sex marriages. The ups and downs of such a controversial topic must be nothing short of stressful as well as hurtful while those who desire nothing more than to spend the rest of their lives with their soulmate of the same gender wait for such a situation to be legalized.

This left me wondering, with the overwhelming number of voters who ban gay sex marriage in North Carolina, will Obama most likely lose their vote/approval? I'm sure Obama put thought into this especially due to the timing of both events which leads me to think that his opinion on same sex marriages was exposed at a critical time in the history of the gay marriage controversy. I have noticed within my group of friends and people who I know in the community in which I live that gay marriage seems to be gaining approval in especially younger generations.

Although we may not know the long term effects of such a declaration by our president, the topic of gay marriage and gay rights seems to be stirred back up in the media and even in celebrities. As I was listening to the radio this morning, many famous people spoke out about the news. Ellen DeGeneres stated, "Thank you president Barack Obama for your beautiful and brave words. I'm overwhelmed." Also, reality TV star Kim Kardashian blogged, "This is a HUGE step forward." Based off the influence that the media as well as celebrities/American "idols" have on the public and their opinions today... it is hard to determine where this monumental step in the history of gay rights will lead America.

Chapter 13 of the textbook focuses on immigration. When asked to tell my immigration story I was dumbfounded for I realized I know little to nothing about my immigrant ancestors and history! This is when I grabbed my phone to gather any known information from my grandma on my mother's side of the family. After talking with my grandma on the phone the other day, she revealed all that she could remember about our family’s immigration story. Although her thoughts were somewhat scrambled and faded, this is what I obtained from our conversation:


My great great grandpa and other relatives of that time on my mother’s side of the family were from France, England, and Ireland. The majority of them lived in Ireland. Eventually, they traveled to Minnesota where they did not live for long. From Minnesota they moved South to St. Louis, Missouri where then owned much land and were in the boating business. This is where my family resided for years, hence, my mom was born in St. Louis. 

Immigration years ago was much different than immigration in the US today however immigrants were after the same thing: The opportunities our country offers. As mentioned in the textbook, most immigration in the 1900's occurred by boat. I can only imagine the troubles and hardships families must have faced when traveling by boat across oceans for long periods of time. However, they remained persistent, for our country remains a melting pot made up of nearly all immigrants. 

If my ancestors were immigrating today, the process would be costly, lengthly, and difficult to achieve. Although means of transportation have improved and would lessen the travel time, there are many obstacles one must overcome. To enter the US, one must be eligible for an immigration visa. Upon receiving a visa, the waiting process can be as "little" as 3.5 years to up to 9 years. To be eligible for permanent residency in the US, one needs not only their legal visa, but also a green card. To acquire a green card, The US Citizenship and Immigration Services must approve an immigration petition. Following this is normally a wait to receive an immigrant visa number. It is obvious that this process is nothing short of a headache.

Immigration has become somewhat of a sensitive and controversial topic in the US today mainly because of illegal immigration. According to the International Organization for Migration (IOM), it is estimated that 25.5 to 32.1 million people (10%–15%) of the world's total 214 million international immigrants are illegal immigrants. This is an outstanding number of illegal immigrants. This number remains so high for people of developing countries desire nothing more to become a part of a developed country. It is easy to see why such a topic may be controversial. One side of the controversy is from the US citizen point of view where one may be unemployed while there are illegal immigrants taking positions in the work force of the country in which they do not legally reside. There is no doubt about the fact that this is an obtrusive issue when it comes to illegal immigration. On the other hand, it is nothing short of heartbreaking knowing that simple boundaries of God given land separate lives of those who may be impoverished, illiterate, and starving from those who luckily were born onto the US territory and therefore are born with a greater magnitude of opportunities. The issue of illegal immigration is difficult for me to take a firm stance on, for without being in the shoes of the immigrant wishing for a better life, I am not able to fully grasp the hardships in which they face. 

Immigration in general is to be encouraged. For the incorporation of those from surrounding countries will do nothing more than enrich our American culture and aid in further growth and diversification of our melting pot. 

Additional Thoughts on Impressions

Since I have been enrolled in my first sociology course this semester I have become more aware of social situations and tend to take a second to naturally somewhat analyze what's going on. Most of my observations are of others and how their actions have related to topics we've covered, however, the other day I noticed behavior in myself regarding impression management. My previous blog post on the topic of Impression Management I had brought to attention the fact that I work as a nanny and this is where I've noticed I use first impression "tactics." Well, my jobs are currently very stable with the consistent four families that I nanny for. Until the other day I had a new job opportunity to nanny three kids for the first time. Being available, of course I took the mom up on the offer. Came time to head to their house, I noticed myself searching through my closet for something to change into even though I was dressed perfectly fine. This is when I stopped to think about what and why it was that I even cared to change? Of course what was happening was a trigger going off in my mind saying I needed to come off more "mom" like to look the roll of the care taker that I am. The only things I would definitely stray away from wearing to a job such as this would be clothing with any inappropriate phrases/words, or anything revealing/risk-ay. Since my clothing was not within either of those categories I decided to stick with what I had on for it was a subtle statement of who I am. I made a mental note to act very me since I have a newer confidence in my nannying career. And I did just that. Upon meeting the parents I kept my voice at in its normal key, for I had observed previously I tend to go into a higher, sweet sounding pitch. The introductions and evening with the three kids went well and smooth. I felt good sticking to my new idea of showing who I really am instead of who they may expect to see. The experience feels more personal and trustworthy when real character is revealed. There is no space for pretending to be someone I am not when it comes to caring for others children. I can only hope that when the day comes for me to hire my first nanny that I will feel and see the honesty and sincerity in them and with that, feel comfortable with my kids being left in his or her hands.

 
I woke up the following morning to a text from the mother reading, "Hey Grace! Kids had a blast last night-Thanks again for your care. We look forward to another night out in order for the kids to enjoy another fun filled evening with you." This was nothing short of fulfilling to read. A great start to my day and rest of impression management techniques (or lack their of) to come.