Parental Pressure in Childhood Sports: My Personal Experience

While reading through Chapter 14 of the textbook, I got to the section regarding parental pressure on childhood sports and I was reminded of my childhood as well as some current TV reality shows today.

In today's culture it seems rare to find children who are not involved in athletics. Why wouldn't parents want to get their child involved in fun, physical activity with teammates to learn some basic social skills? It is those parents who take these initial desires for their children a step too far where the tables turn and the activities become more of an occupation. Peer pressure is one thing, parent pressure is another thing. Children are being entered into athletic programs at earlier and earlier ages. I have seen and experienced this sort of involvement through club gymnastics growing up.

I began gymnastics when I was 6 in a recreational program near my house at a community center and fully enjoyed it. After a couple years in this low-intensity program my mom decided to bring me to Hamline to join their recreational classes leveled beginner, intermediate, and advanced. Upon quickly moving through each level I was soon asked to join the Spirit Gymnastics club team that also was at Hamline. I remember this being my decision and I don't regret saying yes to it. During my 6 years of club training I gained an incredibly fit body, friendships, and lessons of discipline and time management. My coach Doug Burns had told my mom that it would be a long and intense journey but that in the end I would walk away with life skills that no other sport or conditioning training could leave me with. There were many times that I wanted to quit but was quickly reminded of "all the work you've put in this far," or "think of all the money we've spent for you to just give up," so I pushed through the insane schedule, stress of competitions, and strength conditioning until I had reached my limit. As I got older and into middle school and high school club gymnastics became more and more of a chore for me rather than an enjoyable hobby. This switch in attitude towards the sport is what drove me to quit and also what separated me from most other of my team mates. I quit club with my parents support at age 16. Almost all my fellow teammates remained on the Spirit gymnastics team until college even after expressing to me their desire to quit. I feel I had the perfect middle ground of club sports involvement. For I walked away with positive skills that some may never acquire and I do not look back on those days of training/competitions with negative connotations towards my coaches and or the intensity of the sport itself. It is that line that many parents cross with their children. When children are pushed to the point of exhaustion and fatigue, it is their responsibility to respect that for it is the child's future.

On page 477 of the textbook, Newman explains that, "[parents] defend their actions by citing studies that show that adolescents involved in sports are less likely to use drugs and are more likely to get good grades in school." From personal experience I find this to be true, however, there is another crucial part to the story that seems to be missing: Whether or not the sport is enjoyable for the child. This aspect of children's involvement in sports seems to be overlooked quite often. I feel it is equally important for children to gain both the skills/discipline from sports as it is to gain the friendships/joy.

At a gym in which I would train at during the summers called Twin City Twisters (TCT) I noticed a lot of young girls (6-8) being trained at the level of intensity that I was training at when I was ages 14-16. The feel and energy in that gym is different. There is a sense of seriousness and determination not only in the gymnasts but also even more so in the parents. TCT has "produced" some elite level gymnasts, both male and female. Upon registering young gymnasts in such an intense program the parents wouldn't have any other goal in mind than just that. The tears and quite often unhappy faces that I noticed during their 4 hour saturday morning trainings reminded me of the hit reality TV show "Dance Moms." The TV show is now in its second season and yes, the dancers are quite amazing, however the drama and strictness of the mothers is what gives this show poor ratings in my book. The dance coach at Abby Lee Dance Academy stands for nothing less than perfect. This pressure, although it may be temporarily blinded by the makeup and gorgeous outfits, will soon in turn, put these young girls over the edge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRGpeui4-hU

The link above gives you a snippet of the intense and dramatic TV series "Dance Moms"

What can be done, if anything, to help relieve families who may be tied up in such demanding schedules? According to Newman, there are organizations that work to help families cut out time in their days for relaxation and or quality family time. With the rising popularity of these organizations, one can only hope that this is the help needed to neutralize such extreme demands of athletics and the pressure they experience from their parents.

Current Events: Gay Marriage

This past week there was a lot of news and debate regarding same sex marriages. As many were waiting to hear the outcome stance of state North Carolina on gay marriage, there was soon disappointment within the gay population upon hearing voter banned gay sex unions. Not much time was spent being disappointed however, for Obama, in the midst of the debate, declared his support for same sex marriages. The ups and downs of such a controversial topic must be nothing short of stressful as well as hurtful while those who desire nothing more than to spend the rest of their lives with their soulmate of the same gender wait for such a situation to be legalized.

This left me wondering, with the overwhelming number of voters who ban gay sex marriage in North Carolina, will Obama most likely lose their vote/approval? I'm sure Obama put thought into this especially due to the timing of both events which leads me to think that his opinion on same sex marriages was exposed at a critical time in the history of the gay marriage controversy. I have noticed within my group of friends and people who I know in the community in which I live that gay marriage seems to be gaining approval in especially younger generations.

Although we may not know the long term effects of such a declaration by our president, the topic of gay marriage and gay rights seems to be stirred back up in the media and even in celebrities. As I was listening to the radio this morning, many famous people spoke out about the news. Ellen DeGeneres stated, "Thank you president Barack Obama for your beautiful and brave words. I'm overwhelmed." Also, reality TV star Kim Kardashian blogged, "This is a HUGE step forward." Based off the influence that the media as well as celebrities/American "idols" have on the public and their opinions today... it is hard to determine where this monumental step in the history of gay rights will lead America.

Chapter 13 of the textbook focuses on immigration. When asked to tell my immigration story I was dumbfounded for I realized I know little to nothing about my immigrant ancestors and history! This is when I grabbed my phone to gather any known information from my grandma on my mother's side of the family. After talking with my grandma on the phone the other day, she revealed all that she could remember about our family’s immigration story. Although her thoughts were somewhat scrambled and faded, this is what I obtained from our conversation:


My great great grandpa and other relatives of that time on my mother’s side of the family were from France, England, and Ireland. The majority of them lived in Ireland. Eventually, they traveled to Minnesota where they did not live for long. From Minnesota they moved South to St. Louis, Missouri where then owned much land and were in the boating business. This is where my family resided for years, hence, my mom was born in St. Louis. 

Immigration years ago was much different than immigration in the US today however immigrants were after the same thing: The opportunities our country offers. As mentioned in the textbook, most immigration in the 1900's occurred by boat. I can only imagine the troubles and hardships families must have faced when traveling by boat across oceans for long periods of time. However, they remained persistent, for our country remains a melting pot made up of nearly all immigrants. 

If my ancestors were immigrating today, the process would be costly, lengthly, and difficult to achieve. Although means of transportation have improved and would lessen the travel time, there are many obstacles one must overcome. To enter the US, one must be eligible for an immigration visa. Upon receiving a visa, the waiting process can be as "little" as 3.5 years to up to 9 years. To be eligible for permanent residency in the US, one needs not only their legal visa, but also a green card. To acquire a green card, The US Citizenship and Immigration Services must approve an immigration petition. Following this is normally a wait to receive an immigrant visa number. It is obvious that this process is nothing short of a headache.

Immigration has become somewhat of a sensitive and controversial topic in the US today mainly because of illegal immigration. According to the International Organization for Migration (IOM), it is estimated that 25.5 to 32.1 million people (10%–15%) of the world's total 214 million international immigrants are illegal immigrants. This is an outstanding number of illegal immigrants. This number remains so high for people of developing countries desire nothing more to become a part of a developed country. It is easy to see why such a topic may be controversial. One side of the controversy is from the US citizen point of view where one may be unemployed while there are illegal immigrants taking positions in the work force of the country in which they do not legally reside. There is no doubt about the fact that this is an obtrusive issue when it comes to illegal immigration. On the other hand, it is nothing short of heartbreaking knowing that simple boundaries of God given land separate lives of those who may be impoverished, illiterate, and starving from those who luckily were born onto the US territory and therefore are born with a greater magnitude of opportunities. The issue of illegal immigration is difficult for me to take a firm stance on, for without being in the shoes of the immigrant wishing for a better life, I am not able to fully grasp the hardships in which they face. 

Immigration in general is to be encouraged. For the incorporation of those from surrounding countries will do nothing more than enrich our American culture and aid in further growth and diversification of our melting pot. 

Additional Thoughts on Impressions

Since I have been enrolled in my first sociology course this semester I have become more aware of social situations and tend to take a second to naturally somewhat analyze what's going on. Most of my observations are of others and how their actions have related to topics we've covered, however, the other day I noticed behavior in myself regarding impression management. My previous blog post on the topic of Impression Management I had brought to attention the fact that I work as a nanny and this is where I've noticed I use first impression "tactics." Well, my jobs are currently very stable with the consistent four families that I nanny for. Until the other day I had a new job opportunity to nanny three kids for the first time. Being available, of course I took the mom up on the offer. Came time to head to their house, I noticed myself searching through my closet for something to change into even though I was dressed perfectly fine. This is when I stopped to think about what and why it was that I even cared to change? Of course what was happening was a trigger going off in my mind saying I needed to come off more "mom" like to look the roll of the care taker that I am. The only things I would definitely stray away from wearing to a job such as this would be clothing with any inappropriate phrases/words, or anything revealing/risk-ay. Since my clothing was not within either of those categories I decided to stick with what I had on for it was a subtle statement of who I am. I made a mental note to act very me since I have a newer confidence in my nannying career. And I did just that. Upon meeting the parents I kept my voice at in its normal key, for I had observed previously I tend to go into a higher, sweet sounding pitch. The introductions and evening with the three kids went well and smooth. I felt good sticking to my new idea of showing who I really am instead of who they may expect to see. The experience feels more personal and trustworthy when real character is revealed. There is no space for pretending to be someone I am not when it comes to caring for others children. I can only hope that when the day comes for me to hire my first nanny that I will feel and see the honesty and sincerity in them and with that, feel comfortable with my kids being left in his or her hands.

 
I woke up the following morning to a text from the mother reading, "Hey Grace! Kids had a blast last night-Thanks again for your care. We look forward to another night out in order for the kids to enjoy another fun filled evening with you." This was nothing short of fulfilling to read. A great start to my day and rest of impression management techniques (or lack their of) to come.

The Portrayal of Women in The Media

Not a day goes by where I do not notice the way women are portrayed in the media... whether or not that's a good thing depends on the day. Some days I feel completely inspired by the women I see on TV, magazines, billboards, for they may exist as a strong female figure such as Oprah, Michelle Obama, Jennifer Lopez. However, this is not my most common emotion associated with women's portrayal in the media today. More often than not, upon viewing ads, magazines, commercials, I begin to think twice about the way I look or the way I dress. It is as if these women exist as unattainable goals for young girls, teens, and adults. It does nothing but create a desire within to become this sexy, perfect BEING. The portrayal of women is becoming less and less human and more of an idealized, eye candy, object for the public's enjoyment (and by public I mean men). 

This above picture is of the Victoria Secret Angels. Victoria Secret is well known for their bra and panties sales line. To refer to their most famous models as Angels speaks for itself. This suggests that their, so-to-speak, beauty has gotten them to an unearthly realm, as if they exist as divine objects of heaven. The fact that these women are, in a sense, praised for their beauty implies that this body image is one to work toward achieving if one desires similar praise or approval of the male gender. This leads to a magnitude of problems. First off, is there any places on the angel's bodies where a bit of fat or excess skin may be pinched? Women of all ages go to extreme measures to become this idealized female figure, including measures that put ones health at risk: Anorexia, bulimia, and depression mention a few. Secondly, women portrayed in such a way creates the notion that they are objects for pleasure which is degrading for the female gender. More often than not, the positions in which the models pose are sensual, tempting, and inviting. This objectification (practice of treating people as objects) of women leads to a separate division of issues relating to pornography, abuse, prostitution, etc. Lastly, upon receiving spring and summer additions of their swim suit catalogues, buyers have an unrealistic perception of how the clothing will appear on their body. It is a situation that sets itself up for failure. To think that the swim suit one purchases will make one appear sexy and angelic just as the models do leads to disappointment. Although this may be a successful marketing technique, it eats away at the self esteem of women across the country. 

Gender Inequality

Women's Rights-Bit of History
There is an immense amount of history regarding women's rights that has lead our country to where we are today in terms of gender equality. The word equality serves as our goal, since we have yet to reach gender equality in all aspects of our society. This is why there is importance in understanding the positions in which women are placed daily in institutions along with other prolonging issues: Domestic violence, rape, reproductive rights, etc. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 aimed to end discrimination based on religion, race, color, and national origin. It was the Civil Rights Act that sparked the women's right movement soon after. Through the years of many woman's hard work and determination, there was a lot of progress. Issues that were focused on included reproductive rights, sexual harassment, Title IX, the "glass ceiling," and many more.

Women in the Work Force
The "glass ceiling" was a phrase referring to the invisible barrier through which women can see higher positions in the work force but cannot reach or achieve it. There is no written law or guideline that institutions set out to follow such as, "No people of the minority (in this case women) being accepted into elite positions," for this would violate the equal employment opportunity laws. Thus, the inclusion of the word 'glass' implies that it exists without firm foundation or reason and that's why it cannot be an eye witnessed phenomenon. It exists as some undercover force in which the people of the majority of the institution remain in control. Take a moment to put yourself into the shoes of a woman in the work force... not able to gain acceptance in the most elite positions at your institution simply because you were born with the biological features that make you female? It is not difficult to imagine this experience to be degrading. Common emotions such as worthlessness or lack of importance were most likely present. As stated be Hillary Clinton, "Although we weren't able to shatter this highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, its got about 18 million cracks in it, and the light is shining through like never before."
Institutional sexism, as Newman defines it, is subordination of women that is part of everyday workings of economics, law, politics, and other social institutions. Since this form of sexism is so common (happening daily) it puts sexism on a larger scale. This draws clearer lines of inequality amongst the males and females in the work force today. Institutional sexism can often result in masculinized institutions. In a masculinized institution, stereotypical masculine characteristics are favored, such as being strong, aggressive, competitive, etc.
Overall, although our country has developed greatly throughout the years in hopes of gender equality, there is always room for improvement.

My Experiences with Racism

Race is defined as a category of people labeled and treated as similar because of allegedly common biological traits, such as skin color, shape of eyes, texture of hair, etc. The definition of race does not touch upon the notion of equality. Why should it? For one's biological traits are not to determine power, status, or rights. They are simply surface features in which the eye observes. Pull away the accessory outer appearance and reveal the uniform anatomy of the human body. I wish the rest of the world could take a second to do just that. It is our failure to do so that has created such a hurtful and prolonging issue in America: Racism. As explained by Newman, "Opportunities for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness have always been disturbed along racial and ethnic lines."

I am Caucasian and thus, exist within the majority race of America. I have not experienced much racism first hand, however, have been exposed to the serious and painful issue through my education and life at home. Growing up living in Minneapolis allowed me to familiarize myself with diversity. As goes for any race, those who vary in appearance from your immediate family can seem different, strange, or intriguing. It is those families that don't allow children to interact with the foreign seeming people where the issues begin. For parents, I find it key for them to break the 'barrier' promptly in order to let the child know that there is nothing that makes the two different other than appearance. The quicker one is able to interact with other races, the better the notion of equality may be spread and thus, happiness amongst us all. My parents had me at a Minneapolis public school grades K-5 with the exception of 3rd grade. Tuttle Elementary was a very diverse and artistically involved school that I loved dearly. In the class pictures from the years I attended, it would be difficult for one to state with confidence that I was part of any majority... for the division of races and ethnicities was so diverse. I was best friends with four girls: Carolene (French), Katarina (Caucasian), Jupreece (Mixed), and Nhung (Vietnamese). My very first crush was a boy named Jacub (Lebanese). My integration with this diverse group of kids opened my eyes at a young age to the heterogeneity of our country. Because my predetermined middle school and high school was in the city of St. Anthony, my parents decided to transfer me to the St. Anthony elementary school, Wilshire Park, for 3rd grade in hopes of increasing the likely hood of acceptance into the sister middle school. Wilshire worked in opposition to all that I had just gained from my experience at Tuttle. My new three best friends were Rachel, Jenny, and Erin... all of Caucasian descent. Wilshire, I am realizing now, displayed trends of racial transparency which is the tendency for the race of a society's majority to be so obvious, normative, and unremarkable that it becomes nearly invisible (Newman, 2012). No body within the tight-knit group of families seemed to have a problem with the lack of diversity at the elementary school, it is as if they had forgotten other races exist. The importance of a child's integration with those who are not always appearing so similar (with the exception of blonde or brunette hair), is one thing I had the advantage of. I didn't last but a year at Wilshire... The immense diversity at Tuttle was worth grasping an additional couple years of before a longer education at a unified race school.

Another aspect of my life in which I have experienced situations of racial inequality or diversification is through my relationship with my step father. My step father, Rob, is mixed (half Caucasian, half African American). Hearing his hardships growing up as a child is nothing short of disturbing and embarrassing for our country. Rob experienced the brutality of colorism: skin color prejudice within an ethnoracial group, often between light skinned and dark skinned blacks (Newman, 2012). It stuck with me when he explained once, "I was never white enough to be accepted by the whites, but never black enough to be accepted by the blacks." It is heart-wrenching to know that it is our own preconceptions and history of slavery that caused and still causes this pain amongst individuals today.

Growing up in a race-diverse school, and building relationships with those who have experienced the difficulty of racism first hand has opened my heart and ears to those who may be suffering. As the issue seems to weaken, it undeniably still exists.