Family

What family means to me continues to evolve as my life progresses. Of course, when I was younger, I knew family as those who I live with who share the same blood as me. But as I have grown and experienced relationships with people and felt love in multiple directions, I have realized that family is more a connection of those who truly love each other. Although the blood may not be consistent throughout these members, why does that have to be the deciding factor in who you label as a family member? Family has become a means of having each others backs, being able to be yourself, trusting, and enjoying being in the presence of each individual who shines these characteristics. I feel this "definition" came to me because there are some of my blood relatives who have failed to show love, kindness, and compassion and as a result I find myself losing respect. My life has transformed in a way that does not follow the cookie cutter US family. Divorces happen, gay relationships are real and to be respected as well as accepted, and multiracial marriages cannot and should not be restricted. Relationships involving love and family should in no way be interrupted by law or norms. The picture below shows some of my family! Five of the people are of blood relation, the other four are people who continuously show all the characteristics of what, for me, constitutes a family member.

There are, of course, some issues that are considered "sticky" when it comes to families. In particular, one topic I cannot directly speak from my heart about, but know a couple who have experienced some life long difficulties: a gay couple struggling to gain acceptance by one of the partner's family who lives in India. The story and heartbreak that it brings this couple makes me wish there was a world who understood that love is love. Partners of almost 15 years still remain in silence of their love for each other in fear of being rejected by fellow family members. No matter what sex, race, age... If the feeling is there, why can anyone make a judgement call or place an opinion on such a personal and intimate topic? It is a complex and dispiriting topic.

Impressions

Impression management, though I am new this terminology, has always been an intriguing aspect of human behavior that I often tune into. Observing the way that someone changes in the presence of a particular person or situation often makes me wonder if the people I am in everyday contact with are putting on, so to speak, a display to appear a certain way for my approval. I feel that there are certain situations in which impression management is necessary, such as, a job interview or meeting a boyfriend or girlfriend's parents. These situations in particular one would want to eliminate poor behavior not to necessarily gain approval moreover to display their best qualities.


Personally, I think there is a difference in those who use impression management to gain approval of a group of friends or at a party. This seems to be changing or conforming to ones standards in order to fit in. When someone is acting on their best behavior to please another (job interview example) they are still true to themselves, just shining their most favorable traits. Whereas, when someone is meeting a group of people trying to fit in, their impression management may not be true to themselves but rather an act of conformity to blend to the characteristics of that particular group. This type of impression management is what I enjoy being a witness of. I feel it does nothing gain temporary approval that is set up for future failure. If someone is putting on a show to gain approval, they are not giving a taste of their true self, as time goes by, unless they continue the display for continuous validation, their inner self must come through and then what happens? Maybe this never comes full circle, but does that mean that conformity had played such a huge role that ones personality had been molded to what the group originally desired from him or her? It's an interesting cycle and I think about it often. I have had many falling outs with past friends and sometimes I feel I can attribute this to impression management. I believed they were someone that they did not turn out to be. Impression management impairs one ability to read true character... At least this has proved to be true to my life experiences.

There are not only times in which I have observed people using impression management but there are also many times that I recognize these behaviors in myself. One situation that I can think of in particular is my job. I nanny for multiple families around the neighborhood in which I live. It is always an exciting moment when I get a call from a new parent interested in me caring for their child/children. More often than not, the family wishes I meet the children and get a tour of the house prior to the nannying times they need. In the first couple years of this routine, I would be nervous at this point! I thought a lot about what I want to wear, how I want to appear physically. I didn't want to wear jeans with holes in them or low cut shirts... I suppose, thinking back on it, I tried to create an image of a mom or stereotypical neighbor-girl babysitter. As a few years have passed and I still work as a nanny, I suppose I have gained some confidence in my position and no longer feel the need to express myself any differently than I am naturally... my real self. I before felt as if I had to work to fit the role in all aspects of a nanny, now I am that role with no strain or effort.

Nature vs. Nurture

I have taken two psychology courses that have briefly touched upon the Nature vs. Nurture debate, and each time I have learned some about the topic I have been left with questions and, I guess you could say, food for thought. I am glad that it has again came up in this course so I can thoroughly understand the logistics of this debate that has been controversial for centuries. I find it fascinating to study the theories of human development, for we are such complex beings.

When speaking in terms of nature and nurture, nature refers to the idea that we are who we are based off our genetics. Nurture, on the opposing end, refers to the idea that we are who we are because of the way to grow up and our environmental factors. 

By adopting the idea that we are who we are based off genetics, we are, as the book describes it, "the predetermined product of our genes and biochemistry." Personally, I have a difficult time digesting the notion that we are destine to mature and evolve into exactly what our genes and DNA codes for. It is, however, undeniable that genetics has an immense influence on who we are. It commonly known that parents pass on traits such as hair type, eye color, height, etc. to their offspring. The Nature argument includes these known facts but takes a step further in declaring that our genetics determine other traits such as personality and intelligence. There is no way to prove this to be exactly true, however, scientists have studied behavior in fraternal and identical twins raised together and also raised separately. Seeing similarities in their behaviors when raised separately implies that despite their differences in their environments in which they grew up, they still have similar qualities that must be attributed to their genes. This serves as an interesting study, however, I have had the experience of getting to know identical twins who displayed differences in interests, behaviors, and personality. These two girls were a year older than me, I was never super close with either of them but had the opportunity to get to know them both, separately, in different situations. One of the twins I was in an art class with. I enjoyed her presence in the class, her soft laugh and thoughtful input on my artworks. Her sister, on the other hand, I had gotten to know because our nightlife would often line-up. She acted completely different, loud laugh and striving to be the center of attention. It was always so intriguing to me, as a bystander, to analyze their behaviors and wonder how they became so different. Their case, in particular, proves to me that their environment and external factors have molded them into the people that they are today; separate dreams, personalities, habits, and interests.


In contrast, if Nurture exists as the theory of human development this implies, as the book explains, that we are born and "created from scratch by the people and the social institutions that surround us." Although this statement may strike some as extreme, there are many instances in which it is easy to declare that environment plays a crucial role in our development. For instance, I have experienced the impact of ones physical environment (location, demographics, and schooling) on their personality and daily behaviors.

 I have lived in Minneapolis since I was 2. My two girl cousins (one my age, other two years younger) grew up in Plymouth (a suburb of Minnesota) their whole lives. Growing up in Minneapolis I was exposed to city life, diversity, crime, art, etc. There were countless nights when I would have my cousins attempt a sleepover at my home in Minneapolis where their fear of the city would get the best of them. Their environment in which they grew up had and still has an impact on their behaviors even now as grown adults. There is no doubt about the fact that the nurture of a child plays a key role in the development of their personality and other aspects that define who they are. A child who is sheltered and does not become exposed to the world for what it is, rather, a select section of it in which ones parents determine-will grow up to have varying traits in personality than a child who is encouraged to experience the world in all aspects, regardless if situations are scary or dangerous.

The fact that each side of the argument (Nature or Nurture) has its faults, or exceptions to the rules, makes it clear to me that there must be a medium. Human life and development, as I stated before, is so complex... it only seems makes sense that there are factors of both nature and nurture that contribute to our growth and maturation.

This is my understanding of this continuous debate thus far in my studying and contemplation, feel free to add your opinion or thoughts!

Role of Culture and Norms in Society

My sister, Claire (right), and I are close. Not a week goes by where one of us isn't in need of a good listener--someone to vent to. We are similar but very different at the same time which allows us to agree on things as well as give alternative perspectives on the topic at hand. When I read this assignment I knew that putting her in a situation deviating from our norm as well as the society norm of being face to face (within, say, a 3 foot distance) with someone when you're in a deep conversation would, in the least, confuse her. She was a good candidate in the sense that I could feel comfortable "acting" or doing this activity without me displaying that I am aware of the abnormal activity. Observing one's response to an offbeat behavior is a great way to analyze the effects of declared norms in society and everyday life.

I walked to Claire's bedroom at a time that I knew she would be available for chatting. However, instead of walking in and joining her sitting on her bed, I stood in the doorway. I asked if I could talk to her regarding one of my friend situations. Her, confused why I even asked in the first place and why I hadn't fulling entered her room said, "Yeah, come sit." I quickly disregarded her offer and jumped right into what I had to say. I felt awkward but stuck to my plan and made sure I didn't give away my act. I did not raise my voice to assist her in hearing my story, I spoke as if we were face to face. Being so, she waved me over while I was talking and I again ignored her and acted normal. This behavior made me feel uneasy because there was a tense feeling in the room, it would be only a matter of minutes until she acted upon my behavior and changed hers to fix mine. She stood up and walked near me and leaned against the wall so we were, finally, face to face. She had normalized the situation. Once this happened I let out a sigh and said, "Ok, I didn't come sit on your bed for a reason, I was just observing your response to my abnormal behavior." When I asked her how she felt when I was standing at such a distance from her in attempt to have an in depth conversation she explained it as, "Just weird." She had a difficult time answering my question of why that was weird for her. Claire's best reasoning for why was because, "Well, normally if someone wants to have a deep convo about something they chose to sit close, in more an intimate setting... not stand in the fricken doorway." And she laughed. This explained it all, of course she would mention the word normal in her explanation of how I was failing to act.

Social norms are unwritten rules about how we behave. It is as if everyone is following a particular standard and to deviate from this is perceived as a bizarre. Given a situation or circumstance, one can almost always predict how the average person will react to an event based off the norm. There is a level of conformity that plays a big role in the development of norms. I see this very often at my age; working to fit in at parties, dress a particular way, have a certain response to an ear full of gossip. Norms are like a common thread amongst us all, but what are they doing... what purpose do they serve? I feel norms shape and form us into who we aren't, rather, who society wants us to be. Norms play such a huge role in our everyday lives that it is difficult, if not impossible, to imagine what our country would be like without these guidelines. Who knows? Maybe there would be a lot more diversity, creativity, and ideas flowing. It is intriguing and complex to think about. Since norms have such an influence on how and what we do, I have more respect for those who are able to step out against the norm and demonstrate their individuality.



 Culture, on the other hand, I feel plays a role in our lives in a more saturated and meaningful way. In my opinion, culture serves as a foundation of values and morals that connect our country. It is the intertwined understanding and knowledge behind who we are as a nation and how we have become this way. It is the common ground that we have built in which we all can recognize and respect.

Personal Billboard

Many people utilize personal billboards in a way that is obvious and clear-making sure that the "audience," or public, is correctly receiving the message. This message varies from a wide variety of things such as, a stance on a particular subject or issue, a sports team that one adores, hometown pride, or simply just a reflection of a personality/taste in clothing. Regardless the message, personal billboards are used and observed everyday. Personal billboards are an effective and quick way of expressing many aspects of who you are. Personally, I enjoy being able to figure a little something out about a person by simply examining their choices of clothing, pins, bumper stickers, etc. It's a way for me to get to know them, not on a deep level, but enough to get the gist for their values and passions. Although I am a fan of playing the "audience," so to speak, I do not express myself, my values, or passions quite in this way. 

I feel I give away glimpses of who I am by little things such as, (during spring and summer months) wearing flowers in my hair as a sign of my love for nature and the outdoors, or wearing brightly colored shirts and nail polish as a symbol of happiness and joy. 

In addition to my little outward garments that may or may not send obvious implications about me as a person, I do display two permanent messages on my back and my foot: my tattoos. Both my tattoos are visible and available to the public to read and this may serve as their foothold into who I am as an individual. 

My Plate

Sociological Imagination: The Drive To My Future

The Sociological Imagination, by some, is described as the ability to shift from one perspective to another.  When looking into this blog post assignment in particular, this definition, or, understanding of the phase, hit home for me. Thinking back to the days I spent as a 12 year old there were no immediate red flags or major events that I could name off the top of my head. This was the year of 2005; economic growth had unexpectedly weakened, 838 US soldiers had been killed in Iraq, Hurricane Katrina had deprived our country of 1,836 friends, family members, and lovers. My first reaction to reviewing these times and trying to feel what I had felt as a 12 year old trying to digest such complex and 'over-my-head' topics. It must not have felt relevant or worthy of considerable concern at that time. Now that I'm 19 and have lived 7 years of life experiences to see how such major events could have played out in my life, it seems that 2005 has, surprisingly, had an amazing impact on my accomplishments, personality, and goals.

Hurricane Katrina, along with some other catastrophic events around the world has created a burning inside of me to serve others. Seeing the hurt and immense amount of sadness among so many people, normal people, it kills me and drives me to do what I can to create a positive spin on as many individuals as possible.

 


Though I believe serving others is my calling and always has been something deep inside me, it wasn't until the past couple years that I truly took matters into my own hands in terms of making something happen. This past summer I was blessed with the opportunity to serve orphans in Nicaragua where they are suffering from poverty and an oppressive government. This experience alone was nothing short of life changing, eye opening, and inspiration to continue serving.



In terms of the effects of such events on my life for my future, I have the goal of becoming a doctor in hopes of helping those in need. Ideally I would love to travel to countries that may be dealing with outstanding circumstances and not have much medical access. Thinking back on my childhood, keeping in mind the sociological imagination, I was able to pull out aspects of year 2005 that stand out as some of the most influential events to my life now.