My sister, Claire (right), and I are close. Not a week goes by where one of us isn't in need of a good listener--someone to vent to. We are similar but very different at the same time which allows us to agree on things as well as give alternative perspectives on the topic at hand. When I read this assignment I knew that putting her in a situation deviating from our norm as well as the society norm of being face to face (within, say, a 3 foot distance) with someone when you're in a deep conversation would, in the least, confuse her. She was a good candidate in the sense that I could feel comfortable "acting" or doing this activity without me displaying that I am aware of the abnormal activity. Observing one's response to an offbeat behavior is a great way to analyze the effects of declared norms in society and everyday life.
I walked to Claire's bedroom at a time that I knew she would be available for chatting. However, instead of walking in and joining her sitting on her bed, I stood in the doorway. I asked if I could talk to her regarding one of my friend situations. Her, confused why I even asked in the first place and why I hadn't fulling entered her room said, "Yeah, come sit." I quickly disregarded her offer and jumped right into what I had to say. I felt awkward but stuck to my plan and made sure I didn't give away my act. I did not raise my voice to assist her in hearing my story, I spoke as if we were face to face. Being so, she waved me over while I was talking and I again ignored her and acted normal. This behavior made me feel uneasy because there was a tense feeling in the room, it would be only a matter of minutes until she acted upon my behavior and changed hers to fix mine. She stood up and walked near me and leaned against the wall so we were, finally, face to face. She had normalized the situation. Once this happened I let out a sigh and said, "Ok, I didn't come sit on your bed for a reason, I was just observing your response to my abnormal behavior." When I asked her how she felt when I was standing at such a distance from her in attempt to have an in depth conversation she explained it as, "Just weird." She had a difficult time answering my question of why that was weird for her. Claire's best reasoning for why was because, "Well, normally if someone wants to have a deep convo about something they chose to sit close, in more an intimate setting... not stand in the fricken doorway." And she laughed. This explained it all, of course she would mention the word normal in her explanation of how I was failing to act.
Social norms are unwritten rules about how we behave. It is as if everyone is following a particular standard and to deviate from this is perceived as a bizarre. Given a situation or circumstance, one can almost always predict how the average person will react to an event based off the norm. There is a level of conformity that plays a big role in the development of norms. I see this very often at my age; working to fit in at parties, dress a particular way, have a certain response to an ear full of gossip. Norms are like a common thread amongst us all, but what are they doing... what purpose do they serve? I feel norms shape and form us into who we aren't, rather, who society wants us to be. Norms play such a huge role in our everyday lives that it is difficult, if not impossible, to imagine what our country would be like without these guidelines. Who knows? Maybe there would be a lot more diversity, creativity, and ideas flowing. It is intriguing and complex to think about. Since norms have such an influence on how and what we do, I have more respect for those who are able to step out against the norm and demonstrate their individuality.
Culture, on the other hand, I feel plays a role in our lives in a more saturated and meaningful way. In my opinion, culture serves as a foundation of values and morals that connect our country. It is the intertwined understanding and knowledge behind who we are as a nation and how we have become this way. It is the common ground that we have built in which we all can recognize and respect.
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